The Adventures of Cashew Man
As we left off, Jesus was hung on the cross.....
2,472 years later
???: Data, scan for lifeforms.Data: Aye, Sir.
scanning.....
Data: Sir, there seems to be 3 lifeforms on this planet.???: Data, that's impossible, this planet's lifeforms were all killed and swept away, leaving only nuts and crops on it.
Data: Well, I must sa....
???: Data!
Data: Yes, Sir?
???: Shut up
Data: Yes sir.
???: Data, we're landing.
Data: But sir, I must warn yo...
???: Data.....
Data: Sorry Commander...
after they land...
???: Hey Riker! Look at this!Commander Riker: What, Geordi?
Geordi: These 3 nuts...... they have mouths! AND EYES!!!
Commander Riker: Captain! Geordi found them!
When Captain Picard sees them...
Captain Picard: That is truly disgusting. They seem to have planted in the ground, and have been nurtured by nature to keep them alive all these years.
Captain Picard: Bring them inside
Data: Permission to speak freely, Captain
Captain Picard: Permission granted.
Data: Sir, the nuts... they are heavy......
Captain Picard: Okay, I'll help you with that.
When Peanut Man, Cashew Man, and Walnut Man wake up....
Cashew Man: GNUGH!!!!!!!!!!! errrr.....I feel.... I feel.... great! ah..... But where am I? Dad?
Peanut Man: uuuuaaaaahhhhhh......... er-ugh I'm here, Son.
Walnut Man: UUUUAAAAHHHH....... ah.......... I had the weirdest dream!
Cashew Man: Oh yeah? What was it about?
Walnut Man: Well I forgot..... but I just remember it was weird....
Peanut Man: Well let's get up and fight crime!
Cashew Man & Walnut Man: Yeah!!!!
Cashew Man: WAIT!!!!! PEOPLE!!!!! AAAAHHHH! AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO NOT BE SEEN BY PEOPLE????
Peanut Man: YEAH!!! BOYS..... ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SLING SLONG BASH BANG POW DOO DOO DOO tsssssssssssssssss...........
Cashew Man: ........I'm shot....... pow!
Peanut Man: You people...... you killed my son.......
Cashew Man: ........I'm shot....... pow!
Peanut Man: You people...... you killed my son.......
Commander Riker: We didn't kill him..... we just stunned him! He'll be okay....
Walnut Man: ...................................................
Peanut Man: okay........ I'm sorry...... We shouldn't have attacked you like this....
Captain Picard: It is okay. We are also very sorry. So what are your names? I am Jean Luke Picard, Captain of the Starship Enterprise.
Peanut Man: I am Harrison Selby, but you can just call me..... Peanut Man!
Walnut Man: I am Jon Vail (Walnut Man). And the one you stunned......
Captain Picard: Wait, let me guess, Cashew Man?
Peanut Man: You nailed it, and he is my son.
Captain Picard: Well.... All of you! What do you think about these three?
Data: Captain, I feel....... let me see.....
Captain Picard: Disgusted?
Data: Yes! Is that the word? Yes! That is the word!
Geordi: So uh.... the peanut is the cashew's father?.....
Commander Riker: I just cannot believe that they speak.
Captain Picard: Peanut Man and Walnut Man, you are on the Starship Enterprise.
Walnut Man: Well is there food? MAN! It feels like 2,000 years since I've eaten!
Cashew Man: aaaaaahhhh!!!!!! uh... uh.... hiiiiiyaaaahhh!!!!!! um wha... huh?
Peanut Man: Son, these people are friendly! Apparently they found us and brought us on their spaceship! We are on the....
Captain Picard: starship enterprise......
Peanut Man: yes! We are on the Starship Enterprise.
Cashew Man: okay.... well is there food?
Peanut Man: Is there? I am famished....
Captain Picard: We will make sure to keep you satisfied....
Walnut Man: Well, can you get started on a double burger fat nut's delight for me?
Captain: um sure! uh...... Riker..... psst...
Commander Riker: Yes?
Captain Picard: What is a double burger fat nut's delight?
Commander Riker: um..... maybe a double hamburger for nuts....... i guess....
Captain Picard: ok thanks..... Alright Walnut! Here it is!
Computer! double hamburger for nuts
Walnut Man: Thank you! not exactly what I meant but okay! mmmmm...... GOOD!Captain Picard: Same for you two?
Peanut Man & Cashew Man: Sure!
Computer! Make two others!
Peanut Man & Cashew Man: Thank you! ohhhhhh...... THAT IS GREAT!!!!Peanut Man, Cashew Man, and Walnut Man: SECONDS?
Captain Picard: Of course!
to be continued.....
