The Adventures of Cashew Man issue# 8 It's a Small World

The Adventures of Cashew Man

As we left off, Jesus was hung on the cross.....

2,472 years later

???: Data, scan for lifeforms.

Data: Aye, Sir.

scanning.....

Data: Sir, there seems to be 3 lifeforms on this planet.

???: Data, that's impossible, this planet's lifeforms were all killed and swept away, leaving only nuts and crops on it.

Data: Well, I must sa....

???: Data!

Data: Yes, Sir?

???: Shut up

Data: Yes sir.

???: Data, we're landing.

Data: But sir, I must warn yo...

???: Data.....

Data: Sorry Commander...

after they land...

???: Hey Riker! Look at this!

Commander Riker: What, Geordi?

Geordi: These 3 nuts...... they have mouths! AND EYES!!!

Commander Riker: Captain! Geordi found them!

When Captain Picard sees them...

Captain Picard: That is truly disgusting. They seem to have planted in the ground, and have been nurtured by nature to keep them alive all these years.

Captain Picard: Bring them inside

Data: Permission to speak freely, Captain

Captain Picard: Permission granted.

Data: Sir, the nuts... they are heavy......

Captain Picard: Okay, I'll help you with that.

When Peanut Man, Cashew Man, and Walnut Man wake up....

Cashew Man: GNUGH!!!!!!!!!!! errrr.....I feel.... I feel.... great! ah..... But where am I? Dad?

Peanut Man: uuuuaaaaahhhhhh......... er-ugh I'm here, Son.

Walnut Man: UUUUAAAAHHHH....... ah.......... I had the weirdest dream!

Cashew Man: Oh yeah? What was it about?

Walnut Man: Well I forgot..... but I just remember it was weird....

Peanut Man: Well let's get up and fight crime!

Cashew Man & Walnut Man: Yeah!!!!

Cashew Man: WAIT!!!!! PEOPLE!!!!! AAAAHHHH! AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO NOT BE SEEN BY PEOPLE????

Peanut Man: YEAH!!! BOYS..... ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SLING SLONG BASH BANG POW DOO DOO DOO tsssssssssssssssss...........

Cashew Man: ........I'm shot....... pow!

Peanut Man: You people...... you killed my son.......

Commander Riker: We didn't kill him..... we just stunned him! He'll be okay....

Walnut Man: ...................................................

Peanut Man: okay........ I'm sorry...... We shouldn't have attacked you like this....

Captain Picard: It is okay. We are also very sorry. So what are your names? I am Jean Luke Picard, Captain of the Starship Enterprise.

Peanut Man: I am Harrison Selby, but you can just call me..... Peanut Man!

Walnut Man: I am Jon Vail (Walnut Man). And the one you stunned......

Captain Picard: Wait, let me guess, Cashew Man?

Peanut Man: You nailed it, and he is my son.

Captain Picard: Well.... All of you! What do you think about these three?

Data: Captain, I feel....... let me see.....

Captain Picard: Disgusted?

Data: Yes! Is that the word? Yes! That is the word!

Geordi: So uh.... the peanut is the cashew's father?.....

Commander Riker: I just cannot believe that they speak.

Captain Picard: Peanut Man and Walnut Man, you are on the Starship Enterprise.

Walnut Man: Well is there food? MAN! It feels like 2,000 years since I've eaten!

Cashew Man: aaaaaahhhh!!!!!! uh... uh.... hiiiiiyaaaahhh!!!!!! um wha... huh?

Peanut Man: Son, these people are friendly! Apparently they found us and brought us on their spaceship! We are on the....

Captain Picard: starship enterprise......

Peanut Man: yes! We are on the Starship Enterprise.

Cashew Man: okay.... well is there food?

Peanut Man: Is there? I am famished....

Captain Picard: We will make sure to keep you satisfied....

Walnut Man: Well, can you get started on a double burger fat nut's delight for me?

Captain: um sure! uh...... Riker..... psst...

Commander Riker: Yes?

Captain Picard: What is a double burger fat nut's delight?

Commander Riker: um..... maybe a double hamburger for nuts....... i guess....

Captain Picard: ok thanks..... Alright Walnut! Here it is!

Computer! double hamburger for nuts

Walnut Man: Thank you! not exactly what I meant but okay! mmmmm...... GOOD!

Captain Picard: Same for you two?

Peanut Man & Cashew Man: Sure!

Computer! Make two others!

Peanut Man & Cashew Man: Thank you! ohhhhhh...... THAT IS GREAT!!!!

Peanut Man, Cashew Man, and Walnut Man: SECONDS?

Captain Picard: Of course!

to be continued.....